I never really tell anyone how much they mean to me because I’m always scared that saying things out loud makes them permanent, concrete, forever; and everyone’s kind of scared of forever. But lying here alone in my bed at 12:15 am in your shirt with the ceiling fan on for white noise I realize that I miss you entirely. I have a knot in my back and too many split ends and I’m thinking about quitting smoking and there’s nothing more I want right now than you here with me, and I think that’s such a beautiful thing.
Can someone switch asses with me I’d like a nice one for once
I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m so mad right now and all I want to do is sit outside and smoke but I’m stuck in my room and I don’t know what to do with all of this anger and I am just so tired of being here. I am so tired of everything. I can’t stand being here anymore and I really need to leave before I explode.
I don’t ever know what to say about him. I feel weird saying “he’s not my type” because I’m so into him and I just constantly find myself wanting to be with him and kiss him and hold hands with him and I want to fall asleep with him every night and he is one of my best friends and nothing changed when we told each other we had feelings, and I am really happy nothing did, and sometimes I’m not sure about any of this and we have the summer together before college and I know I’m digging myself a hole here but I can’t help it and he leaves bite marks on my neck and we are each other around each other, and when we’re alone everything just seems nicer.