morganmartinezz: i’ve never wanted more from you than what you have given me. you are beautiful, and you outshine yourself so much. i can see it now. the future. i can see the endless nights between us, of just being. i can see me getting married one day, and you being the first one down the aisle because you’ll be my maid of honor. i can see you in the waiting room while i’m giving birth to my first child. i can see your face when i tell you that you’re the god mother. i can see you my children always putting the word aunt before your name, i can see driving to your house when i’m thirty and need a night with you. i can see us growing old, you as my best friend, in the old restaurant you still own, never regretting a piece of our lives. i can see death, i can see myself being buried next to you, as morbid as that is. you have always, always made me okay. you are always going to make me okay.
This is the first time I’ve been cold in days. I have three hours and twenty-six minutes before I have to be up and I don’t think I’m going to sleep tonight. I was okay before you and I will be okay after you. This weekend I fell in love, maybe not with a person, but with the idea of a person. If I close my eyes I can remember the way you breathed; my head bobbing up and down on your chest as you slept under me. I can smell you, on my skin and in my sheets and in the air when I’m feeling lonely. I can taste you inside my mouth and even after I brush my teeth. I used to be afraid to look out my window at night, but now I’m checking every five minutes in hopes that I’ll see you there. My eyes are closed and I know you will not be there but I will check in five minutes again just to make sure. Last night wasn’t right because I kept waking up to see if you were there but you never were. Every time I try to eat I have to stop because a feeling of sickness sweeps over me and into my stomach and I can’t decide if I’m nervous or if I’m scared. I think both. Maybe we both knew this wouldn’t work, maybe we were afraid because we knew it was too right. Maybe there’s no such thing as too right. You were real no matter how bad you think that you weren’t. I’ll still cry every time I listen to that song that reminds me of you but I’ve been broken before and I can do it again. The numbness in my heart left for awhile, but now it’s eager to fill the spot that you once did. You deserve more than you settle for, a lot more. I wish I could show you how fucking lovely you are.
it’s like kissing the stars with your eyes closed and being swallowed whole by the sea and just when you think you’re content at the bottom of the ocean floor with no noise no sound and nothing to hurt you ever again the sea chokes on your fear and spits you back into the sky and you gulp at the air like you’ve never noticed the sweet taste of it before and you lay on the clouds and you can feel something in your chest and you keep taking bigger and bigger and bigger gulps of air and when you exhale for the first time all of the monsters inside your brain leave and you can’t even remember what it feels like to be afraid anymore
95% of people on my Tumblr won’t read this, but as we speak, Libyan people are being massacred, because they’re rebelling against an unfair government. The elderly, women, children, everyone in Libya is in danger. It’s genocide! Reblog this to raise awareness and support the revolution.